The long-awaited awards for last week's animation have finally been e-mailed to us by ¡Gregor! (He claims sunspots slowed the transmission of his e-mail.)
You might remember ¡Gregor!'s previous documentary films such as "The Bark of the Dingo" and "The Zebra Ambush." We were graced with his attendance last week in the storyboarding session. He missed our film festival, arriving at 1 AM instead of 1 PM, claiming he read the invitation incorrectly.
But once out of bed, we showed ¡Gregor! the Animators' work.
He took it very seriously, as he insisted we "document," as he termed it.
These are his Awards, with his comments:
Best Story: "Snake Kharma" [which finally can be viewed, as "Snake Kharma2"]
"Mystical Asian story about Age and Wisdomlessness. The Paradox! The Enigma! And the halitosis! Brilliant. Still pondering the significance of smell in the film, as well as the symbolism of the skateboard! Does the film endorse change, or stasis?"
Best Smoothness of Stop-motion: "Blob Mania"
"Story could be enhanced by incorporating a red ball. And with flashbacks to the trauma of re-shooting the entire picture, making it a metapicture about the meaning of life in a universe where we all get second chances to do again exactly what we did before."
Best Color: "Flower"
"Better title: "Flow-wolf." While making the audience wait on the edge of their seats for the vicious wolf to appear and eat the amazingly colored flower, they slowly realize that the wolf is really the reverse of the word 'flow': ah, the manipulation of knowledge, of desire, oh the profundities!"
Best Drawing: "Evolution"
"Is it a tragedy or a comedy? Ah, the profundities! And the kid with the pointy hair? He should be in a weekly sitcom! On Fox!"
Best Visual Special Effects: "The Blob"
"How did it grow? How did it grow? I was terrified. I ran and hid in the bathroom for 20 minutes!"
[It was actually two hours! We were awakened around 2:30 AM to the shrill shrieks coming from the downstairs bathroom. Despite being in a bathroom, ¡Gregor! had soiled himself!]
Best Action: "The Robbery"
"And when the robber appeared on the top of the building, it reminded me of . . . and pushed the thing over onto the guy, I was transported to . . . and then the other guy swung around, I thought that . . . and when he chased after the robber, I couldn't NOT think of . . . and then the robber ducked! Oh! the symbolism of . . . ." [¡Gregor! went on for three pages. We give you the highlights.]
Best Titles: "Glob Guy"
"They were really very nicely done; but total sell out! Don't tell ME who the 'bad guy' is or what is 'treasure'! Symbolismus! Symbolismus!" [We don't get it either.]
Thanks for the fun week. And we hope to read about the Animators' work in the future.